The fear

Written by Alon Braude, CEO of Think Ahead Ltd. and author of "THINK AHEAD about people families and business".

In many cases fear is derived from the desire to create a state of certainty, to create an unchanging or strictly positively changing environment that will allow for the preservation of ones standard of living.
The higher ones standard of living is the greater the desire to uphold it. Along with this comes the enhancement of the fear on behalf of family members who have grown accustomed to such standards of living by virtue of their parents.
One who has not gained the confidence to feel as though he is personally capable of upholding his desired standard of living will inevitably enter a state of fear and anxiety that may ultimately cause him to carry out actions that in most cases will lead to the opposite result than that which is sought after.

A son inherits a successful company, established by his father. He feels as though he is not capable of maintaining his father's company and decides to sell it. After the sale is complete he receives a substantial amount of money. He relinquishes 20-50% of his received sale funds to taxes, and is now left with considerably less than he expected. Additionally, the results of his actions now leave him without the team of workers he formerly had at his disposal, who now serve the new owner of the company.
He now stands unassisted, forced to make critical financial decisions regarding future investments of the money in his possession. Investment clerks attempt to seduce him with a variety of suggestions that promise attractive financial yields. Examples may range from real-estate investments in Europe to Malaysian bonds. Slowly, and not before suffering a substantial economic and emotional price, he begins to learn the rules of the game. He realizes that the high yielding promises of the investment clerks entail a total lack of risk on their behalf and that the entire risk lays solely on his shoulders. At this point in life, he will not find a new father to supply him with an additional family business that may be once again sold unwisely.

Logically, siblings should work together in full cooperation and trust, in order to achieve prosperity for both the business and the family. Fear leads to the opposite of this desired outcome, distancing the siblings from one another. Fear causes alienation, anger and distrust, leading one to be engulfed by constant thoughts regarding how he is being cheated, rather than applying his energy toward productive activity for the business. As President Kennedy once said "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country".

Fear leads family members to seek for personal advisors with the intent of protecting themselves solely, without any consideration toward the entire system.
These advisors may be professionals or simply friends and family members. Their purpose is to show you how and where you may be cheated or to block a certain relative from performing an operation that could potentially allow him to exit the partnership and start a new on his own.

Fear can cause the system to be stuck in the bureaucracy of personal interests rather than reaching understandings that would benefit the entire group's interest.
Many years ago, when the business was first established by the father, grandfather and or associates, the purpose was to enhance the partners quality of life. With this goal in mind, all the partners collaborated together in an equal effort in order to strengthen the business. The common premise was that a stronger business will lead to the enhancement of the partners quality of life. Now that the partners have elevated their economic state, allowing their families to enjoy a higher standard of living, fear takes over, paralyzing those family members and future partners.
Fear produces a negative effect on the love, trust and respect among family members and partners –Fear will ultimately harm the businesses current function and future development.

Fear leads family members to perceive everyone around them as an enemy and a threat. Through this perspective, every individual is motivated by personal interest alone. As a result, one may feel as though he can no longer lay trust upon anyone besides himself and his spouse. Unfortunately, even your spouse may not always be trust worthy; have you never heard of couples who parted for a variety of different reasons ?
Our parents raised us as brothers and sisters - Is it possible that these parents taught some children to be cunning and deceitful, while educating others to be honest, righteous, and truthful? Pious individuals who all others conspire against with malice intent?

Fear leads family members to demands which through their personal perspective may lead to greater personal security. Such demands may contradict and completely ignore the personal security of other surrounding family members. The thought is that I would like to gain control of my future and I am uninterested in the skepticism and fears that other family members may share in the matter. If other members of the family are experiencing doubts and fear in the matter, then perhaps it would be best if we parted ways before we elevate the anxiety level amongst them. We will sell the business, collect the profits, and live a risk free life , fear free existence. Just like the the dead - Such an existence is not realistic, yet fear can overcome any logic and lead one to demolish all that is familiar and safe. Such fear will lead an individual to believe that the imaginary alternate existence will lead to changes and a sense of security.

Ladies and gentlemen, fear is destructive. It leads to the devastation of relationships and viable businesses.

Fear leads to drastic measures or the abstinence of pertinent actions that can result in the destruction of entire relationships. Such relationships are necessary for the prosperity and continuation of family businesses over time.

Fear leads to the realization of grim prophesies

I cannot eliminate your fears yet I can present you with the heavy toll that fear can impose. This may encourage you to restrain yourself, much as you would restrain your child from crossing a tumultuous street or jumping out of a high story window.

He who is fearful must understand that fear in business is dangerous, and that when fear and skepticism reach a certain point, they enhance our chances of realizing those very fears.

The risk involved in the continuation of a strong and stable business is substantially lower than the risk taken when selling a business and attempting to build a new one on your own.

If you are fearful, then you must understand that fear can destroy the foundations upon which trust and communication are built. Without these aspects it is not possible to build a vibrant and productive business. Fear destroys the consolidating factor of businesses, stifling growth and expansion.

Only decisions that are based on trust and confidence will allow family members to overcome their fears and bring the business to mutual success that will ultimately enhance the entire family's sense of security.

It is necessary to realize that we are all fearful, and that actions should be taken with this in mind. Only this way will it become easier to overcome our concerns, and achieve a sense of security.

Only the understanding that in order to be partners we must combine our efforts.

Only the understanding that mistakes will be made along the way, yet together they shall be overcome.

Only the understanding that nothing is performed without mistakes.

Only the understanding that the origin of most mistakes is the result of other family members fears - Dad's Mom's my Brother's my Sister's my Uncle's or my Ant's - Will make us obligated to attempt to minimize these fears; consequently reducing the number of mistakes.

Only the understanding that every individual in the family hopes to maximize their own security, without any malicious intent to harm other family members.

Only the understanding that joint efforts are more beneficial than acts of a single person.

Only these understandings will lead us to be true partners that benefit everyone for a duration of time.

Stop.

Gain control of your fears, either with or without assistance.

Work together in the construction, establishment, and strengthening of your business.

Think of ways you might assist each of your partners in strengthening his or her sense of security.

When all is complete, you are free to march forward toward a joint and secure future.

If you're contemplating either these or other related questions, I would be glad to hear of your insights and comments to this article.

Good luck,

Alon Braude
C.P.A. M.B.A
CEO of Think Ahead Ltd.

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